DIY Coffee

I am thinking of writing a play.

Customer enters coffee house.

[Customer] A cappucinno please.

[Staff] No.

[Customer] Why ?

[Staff] There is no milk.

[Customer] Umm, but there is a shop next door that sells milk.

[Staff] Yes there is.

[Customer] Umm, so couldn’t you go and buy some ?

[Staff] No.

Exit customer.

Today I asked the administrator ( Russian for the manager of a restaurant, normally female, who sits and does no administrating all day) why they have no milk. She says as the supplier has not arrived, and there is no method to buy milk from the money in the till. But today I had my revenge ! I went and bought my own milk and for the reward I received a free coffee! I wonder if I should start taking my own food to restaurants now ….

Addendum: I return in the evening on the way home. The wonderful Anastasia has preserved my milk in the fridge. It is my milk. Moloko Marka ! Hooray, cappucinnos for me. Oh. What’s this, they have run ot of coffee ??? A coffee shop with no milk and no coffee !! Sacre Bleur ! This is almost as bad as the pivo bar that ran out of beer last week…

A kilo of trousers please

Near my office is a small shop called Stock. It is one of many Second Hand shops. Shops which acquire second hand clothes from somewhere in Europe and resell them.

Every Monday there is a biq queue outside this shop so it was time to investigate further. The shop it appears is re-stocked every Monday with ‘new’ second hand clothes. I saw sweaters from M&S and jackets from the rubbish bin. Hence the rush every Monday to find the best stuff, or shall I say wearable stuff.

But the best bit is the pricing. The clothes are sold by the kilo. This of course demands me to buy silk and other light clothes. I remarked to my devushka that as she is quite small and tends to buy XS sizes this store is perfect for her as her clothes will weigh less and be cheaper

But that is not all ! On the Monday the clothes are 100UAH a kilo, which drops each day by 10UAH, so 90 on Tuesday down to 40UAH a kilo on Saturday. If only coffee was sold this way …

My language revenge

Russian is not my strong point but sometimes English has its torture too.

When my Devushka and I were in London, I mentioned that we may go shopping at Selfridge’s. I did not notice the  confused look on her face. Later at my parents’, the subject again came around to shopping, and devushka said, why are we going to a shop that only sells fridges  to look for a dress ?

Today she asked me what a sandwich course was. He who laughs last laughs longest.

The Bitter taste of life

I am in the Rost supermarket where they have a juicing stand.

As I ponder the menu a woman pushes in front and orders a kiwi juice. I wait patiently.

I order an apple and carrot juice. There are no carrots available (this is a supermarket..). OK, I’ll have an apple juice then. It will taste horrible she says, as she just made a kiwi juice. Ok I say, then maybe clean it first? She looks at me in a strange manner. She says she cannot as she has no water.

I do wonder if I could make this stuff up sometimes.

Borispol to Kiev Station

As I’m always being asked..
There are 3 options;
1) Taxi ; a real pain, need to be able to negotiate with the touts, helps to speak russian or they will ask stupid mo ey. The fare should be about 150 griven ( a litle less if you can haggle well) or can be higher later at night, maybe 200. Best way to deal with this is try and find one or two other people on the plane or in the baggage hall to share with. Taxi is obviously the fastest, 40 mins or so.
2) The big bus. Runs every 30-45 minutes from outside the main terminal. (as you come out into the main terminal through the taxi touts bear right and take the right door outside and they are right there to the left off the ramp. (also an ATM near the airside exit if you need local money, though dollars will be accepted otherwise, about 8 gryven to one dollar). This bus is a large coach, cost 25 gryven a few months ago and goes to the station (voksal).
3) The little bus, marshootka. These leave when full and also leave from the same place as the big bus and also cost the same. Tend to be a bit faster but may make some stops. You’ll want to get off at the end.
4) The best alternative really is to fly ! Aerosvit costs $60 and is so much more comfortable (kind of) and not that much more. That’s to kharkov, not the station.